My Heart Broke Today

So for awhile now God has put the need on my heart to call Phyllis. For those of you who don't know, Phyllis is my hospice patient that I spent every Sunday with for 1 1/2 years. She was the inspiration for my medical school essay and also the women who taught me how to cook. She is suffering from COPD along with diabetes. I called her today and could barely hear her as she answered the phone. I knew something was wrong right away. She said she fell last week in the bathroom and spent 1 week in the inpatient ward of the hospice. Basically they don't take you there until you are within 7 days of your death. I know that because I volunteered there and watched those who died be replaced by new ones every week. Fortunately she is back home now. Unfortunately she is alone, on a Sunday, the day that we spent together. My heart literally dropped as she said, "I think I'm dying. I feel like its going to be that time soon." What should I say? Aren't I going to be a Dr.?? Why didn't I have anything to say except that Bentley and I missed her and wished we were there? She said, " Would you make me some bread if you were here?" I told her of course I would..I always did. At that point I had to get off the phone before I became the weak one. Before I let her know that I was worried. I told her I would call at then end of the week to check on her. She said I made her day, and that she thinks of me often. I got off the phone.

I feel so hopeless..I am the one who was there to take care of her every Sunday. Today no one was there for her. No family, no friends, no one. My heart feels heavy at the thought of losing her.